linux for blondes

A Sideways Look at Electrickery

() — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 01:03:17 +0100

Electrickery is caused by Amps. These small tiny creatures live in batteries. If they can be sure of getting back home, they can be persuaded to run along burrows called wires, and the sometimes they have to squeeze through very tight holes such as the lights. Squeezing through tight holes is hard work, which makes the Amps very hot. That in turn makes the lights work because the burrow gets white hot.

They will do this trick on their own but get very tired of doing it and soon stop running through the wires. Which is a bad thing if you are out at night. This causes the old saying “Many Amps make light work”.

If they can be persuaded to run through a dynamo it acts as a sort of works canteen where the Amps can feed, but like any canteen there has to be some sort of control of the queues at the servery.

When the canteen is closed the Amps will try to crowd in and this will cause chaos when they discover that there is no food for them and they will set fire to the place.

The canteen door that stops this happening is called the cut-out. When the engine is stopped the canteen door is closed keeping the Amps out. Starting the engine opens the door allowing the Amps in for their dinners. You still have to control the hungry crowds of Amps and this is done by means of a sort of turn-stile called a “regulator.” The turnstile works at varying rates according to the capacity of the canteen and the number of Amps in the queues.

Now the Amps need water to live in when they are not working so you must always make sure that the battery is topped up otherwise they will die and you will have to buy a new battery full of healthy Amps.

“But I don’t have a battery on my bike,” I hear you cry, “so where do my Amps come form?” Well, it’s a little known fact that not all the Amps can get back to a battery when the engine stops and some of them get stranded in their burrows and there is always a number of wild Amps lurking in any piece of wire. As soon as these Amps can get to a canteen to feed they are just as lively as those that got back to the battery. So they can still work for you. A battery is just a sort of barrack block for off-duty Amps.

So what do Amps eat? They eat volts, which they get in the canteen. A canteen can be any size but on bikes it will be either six of twelve volts. Amps that eat in a 12 volt canteen are twice as strong as those that eat in a six volt canteen and therefore, do twice as much work. This means brighter lights for you, or more of them.

If there is only six volts, they can get a dietary supplement by having a 6 to 12 volt converter handy which acts like a sort of NAAFI wagon. The difference is that the converter makes the canteen staff work harder and if it’s not big enough the hungry Amps will smash the place up. They can be nasty little brutes if not kept under strict control. And that is what happens if you fit a 45 Watt dynamo run at 12 Volts and the try to run a 65 Watt headlamp, plus tail lamp, brake lamp and flashers and a big battery off it. Always believe the man who has tried.

Amps can bite. They have sharp little teeth but are usually not strong enough to hurt you. However, if you feed them enough volts they can get vicious. The Amps that come into your house are in large numbers and very well fed. They are dangerous – never attempt to make pets of them – they can kill you with but a single bite. Sparking plugs do not need many Amps to work but those must be fed lots and lots of volts; quite enough to bite you painfully in you try to touch them, but not enough to do any lasting harm.

And that’s all you need to know about electrickery. Leave the rest to the experts.

Can i eat more chocolate please?

() — Fri, 09 Jul 2010 11:29:05 +0100

Wouldn't it be wonderful if eating chocolate was actually good for you? If it was, then I would be the healthiest person in the world. Chocolate is an ancient delicacy which has been produced from the seed of the Theobroma cacao tree for over 3000 years. The health benefits were revered in the 16th to 19th centuries when chocolate was introduced to Europe from Central America. It was thought to cure everything from chest ailments to "anger and bad moods". More recent studies have focused on the vascular benefits of chocolate, including a study published this month in the European Heart Journal.

Buijsse et al asked 19357 Germans how much chocolate they normally ate and then followed them up over eight years to see if they developed heart disease or stroke. They found that eating more chocolate was associated with a lower blood pressure, fewer heart attacks and fewer strokes. This concurs with the results of previous studies which showed a 20 and 45% reduction in the risk of stroke by eating a small amount of chocolate every week. Chocolate may also improve endothelial and vascular function and markers of inflammation.

Great news! Lets all eat chocolate! Well, not quite ...

The problem is that these are all observational and epidemiological studies. There may have been many other reasons for the individuals who ate more chocolate to be healthier which the investigators just didn't ask about. Previous studies have used a "control" of white chocolate but the difference in colour between white and dark chocolate is fairly obvious! In addition, not all chocolates are created equal. Dark chocolate, containing greater than 70% coco solids, contains the highest content of flavanols, the substance purported to improve vascular resistance and thus lead to health benefits. However, it is the heavily processed milk chocolates which are consumed in the greatest volume. And the detrimental effects of saturated fats and sugar may counteract any health benefits. Chocolate also contains may different chemicals including caffeine (a stimulant), theobromine (a mood enhancer) and many antioxidants. The proportions of these chemicals varies between different types of chocolate and no-one really knows which is the most beneficial combination. Flavanols are also found in high concentrations in many other "healthier" foods including grapes, apples and red wine.

Despite this research article I don't think we will be seeing prescriptions for chocolate any time soon. Sadly the "healthiest" chocolate is cacao in its raw form and this particularly bitter concoction really does taste more like medicine than chocolate. So next time I want to eat something healthy, I probably should still go for an apple rather than a chocolate bar.

http://eurheartj.oxfordjournals.org/content/31/13/1616.full

Crazy sign posts from around the world

() — Sun, 04 Jul 2010 10:30:55 +0100

In a Swiss mountain inn:

SPECIAL TODAY - NO ICE-CREAM.

Airline ticket office, Copenhagen:

WE TAKE YOUR BAGS AND SEND THEM IN ALL DIRECTIONS.

A laundry in Rome:

LADIES, LEAVE YOUR CLOTHES HERE AND SPEND THE AFTERNOON HAVING A GOOD TIME.

Sign at a Methodist Church, N. America:

DON'T LET WORRIES KILL YOU. LET THE CHURCH HELP.

Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner,

Japan:

COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT JUST CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN

YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF.

On an Athi River highway:

TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.

A sign seen on an automatic restroom hand dryer:

DO NOT ACTIVATE WITH WET HANDS.

Hotel catering to skiers, Austria:

NOT TO PERAMBULATE THE CORRIDORS IN THE HOURS OF REPOSE IN THE BOOTS OF ASCENSION.

Supermarket, Hong Kong:

FOR YOUR CONVENIENCE, WE RECOMMEND COURTEOUS, EFFICIENT SELF-SERVICE.

The box of a clockwork toy made in Hong Kong:

GUARANTEED TO WORK THROUGHOUT ITS USEFUL LIFE.

Windows 7 deep sleep mode

() — Sat, 12 Jun 2010 23:24:45 +0100

Converting movie formats in Mac OS X, Part 1 Installing Fink

() — Wed, 02 Jun 2010 23:40:48 +0100

It seems like such a simple task, "Can you convert this .avi to a flash video?". My first question was um, why? Followed by a string of expletives. But instead of explaining why I didn't want to do it, I decided to give it a go. Or rather I asked someone else how to ... thank you Handyande http://andy.elcock.org/

So, the process of creating a flash video from an avi is as follows (Using Mcc OS X):

1. First you need fink. What is fink? Well I fink that ... sorry bad pun. Their website says "The Fink project wants to bring the full world of Unix Open Source software to Darwin and Mac OS X". i.e. they want to port UNIX software to MacOSX and make it available for people like you and me.

So go to http://www.finkproject.org/download/srcdist.php and download the fink file. I downloaded fink--0.29.10 which was released in September 2009.

Then follow the instructions on the website ... It sounds easy and it probably is if you don't have a tendency to being blonde. The more comprehensive instructions are

- open a terminal (swear, try and remember what a terminal is, find it in the applications folder under utilities, sigh)

- cd to the folder where you downloaded the fink file (probably /Downloads)

- type tar -xvf fink-0.29.10.tar OR tar -xvzf fink-0.29.10.tar.gz depending on if you have a .tar or .tar.gz file downloaded

- hold your breath

- when everything works continue to follow the instructions on the Fink page and type in ./bootstrap

- a whole load of scary text will scroll past your eyes, don't worry this is normal

- it then starts asking you for your preferences, swear a lot, do it wrong, start again

- so this time instead of worrying about which preference number to select just press return and it will automatically select the defaults. This is particularly important for when you are selecting a location for it to live in. It doesn't seem to like being installed anywhere except /sw (believe me, I tried)

- There is one exception to the above rule. That is when you are trying to chose between 64 and 32 bit types. I have a 64 bit mac, and that's where the future of mac software is going. However, the 32 bit is more populated and more reliable. Difficult choice. I chose 64 bit because I'm adventurous (and because handyande told be to)

The last line of the endless scrolling text of the Fink install was "Have a nice day". At this point you can either go out into the normal world and enjoy the sunshine. Or like a true geek, you can carry on.

Type /sw/bin/pathsetup.sh into your terminal. This will "set up your environment for Fink." Don't really know what that means but it keeps it happy.

Then open a new terminal and type fink selfupdate. You will be given some more options to select from. Just press return to select the defaults. I chose rsync rather than cvs (again because handyande told me to).

Followed all that? If so you now have a working Fink installation. Ready for part two? Well, maybe after a coffee.

Marketing and moddern technology

() — Thu, 20 May 2010 00:42:52 +0100

I for one do not beleive that "loosing" your state of the art, yet to be released equipment (eg 4th generation iPhone) is the most efficient method of advertising. However, there is no doubt that this is one of the many ways that technology companies engage "viral" marketing techniques. But what is viral marketing? And how can you make it work for you?

Viral marketing uses technology to increase the dissemination of information about a product, group or idea. Primarily this increases brand awareness, and thus sales, but it has also been used successfully as part of social, political and environmental campaigning.

The first, and most important problem is that viral marketing is, well, viral. Once it is out there you, as the producer, have no control over it's distribution or subsequent use. This is fine for a product which every one thinks is going to be, on the whole, wonderful. However what happens when the product is not liked, has flaws or is otherwise ridiculed? Well Bill Gates could certainly sympathise with this after the blue screen of death incident at the Windows 98 press conference. Before you can engage in viral marketing, and appreciate its beauty, you have to be prepared. Your beautifully planned and executed video will be distorted, mashedup and re-spun like the brokeback mountain spoofs or the countless Lego stop animation videos (the best in my opinion is the drinking song). Search for "viral marketing gone wrong/bad/funntly/etc" and you willbe able to waste oodles of time.

So my first tip for those poised to embrace viral marketing is to make sure that you, and you're product, are likely to be well received. Otherwise good publicity will rapidly turn into unwanted publicity. On the other hand if you simply embrace it with a wry sense of humour, you are likely to come out shining.

As a consumer, rather than a producer, of viral marketing, my main complaint is that it is anoying. Yes the sneezing panda is cute, but it stops beig cute when my inbox is so jammed with emails about it that I can't get any actual work done. So viral marketing will only work if you are happy to annoy your consumer.

Viral marketing is really just part of the more extensive gorilla marketing craze. Gorrilla marketing covers techniqes on the edge of acceptability, both ethically and legally. For example, think of the fathers for justice campainers who absail off buildings and the endless posters for local bands plastered on the walls around any city. The more imaginative you are, the more you are likely to be noticed in the sea of information overload.

And that is what viral marketing is about, it is about being noticed. It harness lines of communication between inivisuals such as social networking, blogs, txts, email and (occasionally) irl conversations. And what is the secret of becoming the "thing" that everyone is talking about? No matter what you do, you need to make them smile.

And it's not enough just to make someone smile just once. You need to be persistent with your marketing. You can't just write one blog article and then expect that everyone will flock to your site (believe me, I know) And the more you try to create a viral marketing event, the more you are likely to fail. You can give viral marketing a shove in the right direcion, but, like all the best things in life, it can't be forced.

Advertising techniques have advanced with exponentially this century, so rapidly that the consumer is struggling to keep up. There is so much information which flies at you from different directions. And you never quite know what you should pay attention to, and what you should ignore.

So loosing the iPhone 4th generation once may have been part of a carefully planned marketing strategy. But loosing a second one? Well that's just carelessness.

How to become a computer expert in three easy steps

() — Sat, 27 Mar 2010 23:29:47 +0000

Meeeeeooooooww!

() — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 20:19:23 +0000

Meeow! I love cats, they are a million times better than dogs. This particular cat is a very clever cat.

cat stands for "concatenate and display". (Don't ask me how, I think it was developed by someone who thought t was the same as d) It is also a commad that tries to multitask, and doesn't really manage it very well. It must be male.

So let's deal with the display part first. cat displays the content of a file. It works fine if you have a short file. However, if you have a large file the contents will fly rapidly past you and you will only see the last page. That's great if you just want to see the last page, or can read like the robot in Short Circuit. If you want to see any other bits of the file then try the more comand instead.

The other thing that cat does is the "concatenate" part. The OED says that concatenate means "to chain together". It combines the contents of two things into another thing.

1. Open a terminal

2. Type cat file1 file2 > destination_file

3. Press return

More details:

cat file1 file2 > destination_file	combines the contents of file1 and the contents of file2 and overwrites destination_file
cat file1 file2 >> destination_file	combines the contents of file1 and the contents of file2 and adds it to the end of destination_file

I want more!

() — Mon, 15 Mar 2010 19:49:18 +0000

More is about as simple as things get. This command lets you look at the contents of a file. And (wow!) lets you skip through it page or line at a time.

1. Open terminal

2. Type more and then the file name you want to know more about

3. Press return

4. The first page of the document will be displayed. To display the next line press return and to display the next page press the space bar. To go back type b.

5. When you are bored of reading press q to escape.

Now isn't that revolutionary? (Note slight sarchasm ...)

Lists, for people with OCD-like tendancies

() — Sat, 27 Feb 2010 17:49:41 +0000

This is probably the best place to start with anything computer-wize - how to write a list. The ls command lists the files in the current directory.

Stage 1: open up a terminal

Stage 2: type ls

Stage 3: press return (This is really as easy as things get around here)

Stage 4: watch as pretty lists appear as if by magic (unless you are in an empty directory when you will be disappointed)

Useful added extra options:

ls -a lists all, ie includes hidden files

ls -l lists extra lists ie it tells you about the file

ls -F shows the type of file with a \ for a directory, * for an executabe file, @ for a symbloic link (I have no idea what that is, but I can now identify it in a list)

ls -alF tells you everything (but I wont understand it)